Hey chachooka man can we get a reup?!?!?!!

Facebook note circa a few months ago:

Friendship. What is it really? Is it subjective or objective? Real or fake? In my case, I just don't know anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong. I have my fair share of friends but how many of them can I truly call FRIENDS? This isn't an insult to the friends I have now or anything so please don't think I don't appreciate you because believe me I do. I love all of you guys (and gals, respectively). It's just I feel like there really isn't that one person I can just go to to tell everything to. Like what I'm saying right now. It's probably my fault though. I'm not really willing to open up to others because when I do it seems like things always don't go too well and I always lose more than I gain. Maybe I have lofty expectations. Maybe I shouldn't expect my kindness to be reciprocated. I mean I don't really expect that but it'd be nice once in a while. I feel like a CG right now cause I'm typing this on my BlackBerry. Hell, I feel like a CG for putting this on Facebook. That had nothing to do with anything. Haha. Back to what I was saying. Maybe I shouldn't be as nice as I am. It really hasn't gotten me anywhere thus far. The problem with that is that I don't have a mean bone in my body for lack of a better way of putting it. I don't even know if I've ever truly gotten angry at anything or anyone in my life. Well I've got a little pent up anger but the only thing that makes me outwardly express anger is when the Lakers play retarded. Like Abbigail told me, I let it all boil up and it's unhealthy. I just smile and pretend everything is okay even when it's far from it. I don't know why I'm posting this on Facebook to be honest with you. It may seem like a desperate cry for attention but I just need to get it off my chest. I just wish people would tell me how they really felt about me instead of me having to find out through someone else. It makes things more painful than they have to be when that happens. I feel like I'm just rambling on now so I'm gonna sleep now.


-- Post From My iPhone